Hobbits VS Hogwarts
by MissKoolKat 21
Summary: Pippin, Merry, Frodo and Sam are taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but trouble lurks around every corner...


A/N: Lol, don't even ask, I am super bored right now. If I screw up anything related to the Harry Potter side, note that I haven't read the books in a year. I'm thinking about doing a Wings of Fire fanfiction so I might do that later. Plus, thanks for all the reviews on Karkat Sings, especially to Supernova Gargantua, I really appreciate it! :)

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings.**

Peregrin Took was a combination of bored, tired and hungry. His older cousin Frodo had come to his house and raided his pantry, leaving the young hobbit with no second breakfast. He thought that would be the worst day of his life. No. Second. Breakfast. Nothing could've been worse. He took out his pipe and shoved some pipeweed into it, before lighting it and having a smoke will sitting in his favourite armchair. He wasn't in the mood for causing mischief with Merry, or playing pranks on Gandalf - speaking of Gandalf - where was he? Pippin hadn't seen Gandalf in years. Maybe he was just chilling at the strip club with Elrond. A sharp knock came on his front door, sending his train of thoughts to a screeching halt. He got up to answer his door, thinking it might've been Merry or Sam paying a visit - maybe even bringing second breakfast if he was lucky. He opened up the circular door to his hobbit hole, but no. It wasn't Merry. Or Sam. Not even Frodo (who Pippin thought owed him an apology). It was - what was it? Definitely not an elf - they don't have beards. But it couldn't have been a dwarf - it was far too tall. And because of the beard it wasn't another hobbit. But the beard was far too long to be the beard of a man. "What the hell are you?"

"Well young master Took, that's not very nice is it now." Pippin could barely see the man's face as he was so tall.

"Sorry," Pippin mumbled, still confused as to what was going on.

The 'thing' ignored Pippin's confused, angsty state and went on, "My name is Rubeus Hagrid, Peregrin. I am here to tell you that you are a wizard have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Pippin was shocked at the news. "There is no way I, Peregrin Took, am a wizard. The only wizards around here are Gandalf the Greyhound, Saruman the Basic White Girl and Radagast the Shit Brown. No Peregrin the Mushroom Brown. Or Merry the Orange Carrot. And no Frodo of the Strawberry Jam and most definitely no Samwise the Dirty Po - Tay - To. Heck, at this point you could tell me Gollum is a wizard and I would not be all that taken aback!" Pippin cried. "No thank you Hagrid, I am going back to smoking on my pipe and eating, eating, nothing," the young hobbit looked down at his stomach wistfully, thinking about how much he was missing his Second Breakfast. He knew that if he didn't eat soon, he would die from malnourishment. "Well, too bad Peregrin," Hagrid said, "you're coming with me whether you like it or not." Hagrid grabbed Pippin by the feet and slung him over his shoulder. "Also, Gollum is a wizard."

"WHAT!?" Pippin was cut off though, as he was thrown into the sidecar of a motorcycle (though Pippin didn't know that as motorcycles don't exist in Middle Earth).

"OW! WHO WAS THAT!"

"Merry? Is that you? It's Pippin!"

Merry wasn't in the mood for Pippin to be stupid though. "Of course I could tell it was you! You have the hairiest feet and you kicked Frodo in the face and me in the nuts, so if you don't mind moving, please do move!" Pippin shuffled over. "OW! PIPPIN!"

"Sam?"

"Yes, Pippin, Sam and I are here too, incase you couldn't tell from Sam's nonsense yelling and grumbling," Frodo grumbled. He was about to continue ranting about Pippin's stupidity, when another person was thrown on top of him.

"NOT ANOTHER ONE!" Merry yelled out. Poor Meriadoc was stuck underneath Frodo, Sam, Pippin and now Gollum.

"Preciousss, yes my precious, nasty fat dwarf, big fat dwarveses yes my precioussssssss, nasty nasty nasty!" Great, Pippin thought.

"Not you again, Slinker and Stinker!" Sam yelled grouchily. Sam couldn't believe his luck. Slinker, out of everyone else, was a WIZARD. A WIZARD. And Sam thought that Radagast the Shit Brown was bad enough. Or Gandalf threatening to turn him into a toad was pretty bad too. But as soon as it had all begun, they were on level ground as the sunlight burnt through them.

A/N: Did you like it? Please review it my precious.


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